ok...i'm back

i'm not surprised by my lack of updating. i'm gonna give it another shot though. so...i'm married! :) lol we're actually approaching 1 year faster than i ever thought possible! really. why does time start to pass so quickly as we age? i remember thinking summer seemed to last forever and christmas took too long. and now? well, i've been married 8 months and feel like it was maaaybe 3 months ago. is there some kind of science behind this? and i guess it's a good thing that it's going fast...means i'm still having fun! :)haha! at any rate. the wedding was perfect! everything i could have imagined and more. my mom was an absolute saviour! she was there for every appointment, tearing out magazine pages like a mad woman and she made sure to soften the budget blows with daddy. :) i could never thank her enough for everything she did, but thank you doesn't matter because she did it all with a huge smile on her face. it was an absolute act of love. the time we spent sharing in those special moments is something i will cherish forever.

note: that was written in december 2010. about 3 months ago. i will now complete the thought...

the experience of committing myself to my husband was something i will never forget. i forever have the image of his face when he was saying his vows to me burned in my mind. i don't know that i've ever seen him look that way. so real, raw, focused. he's one of the most 'in touch' and passionate people i have ever met, much less man i have ever met. the emotion i have felt from him and with him really can't be explained and that is pretty much why i knew he had to be my husband. that, and the fact that he is friggin' hilarious! :) what is that saying? he isn't perfect, but he's perfect for me. finger on nose. so that is where i am right now. we are 1 month and 1 day away from our 1st anniversary and it feels quite lovely to be married. to him. forever. on to the next chapter...

i feel like now, even though there isn't a lot of excitement from children(yet) in our lives. i am excited. just about life. oh cheesy cheeseball, whatever. i am. i'm on the last leg of my 20's and i have never felt better or more ready for life and every little thing it has to offer. a lot of woman dread 30, but i am standing open armed waiting. don't get me wrong, i'm not wishing my 20's away, oh no. this has been one unbelievable decade for me. i will continue to live it up until the very last minute. and i'm sure i will still be living it up into my 30's and maybe 40's, hell who am i kidding. i will never not be living it up, because there is just too much living it up to do in this life. but, i think 30 is like taking a giant deliberate step into womanhood. whatever that means. i think it's different for every female. for me, it's about really connecting with myself and concentrating on the really important things. making a difference. growing. becoming aware and in tune with myself, with others and with the grand scheme of life. with these thoughts i am feeling more of a need for me to write. to get the thoughts out and to let my writing time be a time of reflection, meditation, expression and to provide an outlet. i'm not the most private person. i like for people to know what i am thinking and how i feel. i've always worn my heart on my sleeve and it's something that no matter what kind of trouble it gets me in, i've come to love about me. so here i am.

when i was younger, like elementary school age, i loved to write. when the teacher would assign a creative writing assignment, i was on it. i was good at it and i enjoyed doing it. i didn't just write make believe stuff, though. i wrote journals, i wrote notes, i wrote my name, over and over and over on everything and sometimes on pieces of paper that other people really didn't want me to write on. point is i loved to write. my grandmother would ask me to write her stories sometimes and she always told me i should pursue writing as a career when i grew up. as i got in to middle and high school and then even on to college the writing assignments grew plenty and tedious and my passion for writing dwindled to nada. i pretty much loathed hearing "must be 1,000 words and have at least 5 sources." writing was no fun anymore, i didn't have the time for it and if it wasn't assigned, forget it. but, i'm back. after a much needed break. writing sounds appealing again and so i will write.